Don't be passive, a victim to your thoughts and emotions

Some time ago, I had an enlightening experience coming home on a train one afternoon from work. It was very revealing and after reflecting and journaling about it over a period of time, it was something that I noticed throughout my experience on a regular basis. On this particular afternoon after a tiring day at work, I became aware of this heavy low feeling that was hanging over me. It was a familiar feeling that I can often feel after a day’s work.

 

As I sat with the experience and really felt it out, it suddenly occurred to me that I don’t have to just sit here and accept this heavy state of being. At the same time, I also saw that this is a habitual passivity, that I unconsciously acquiesce to whatever mental state I find myself in, never questioning it or assuming I could change it. This includes the assumption that my mind will move on at some point due to an inexplicable random process of its own that I’m at the mercy of.

 

This moment of awareness of all these facets of the experience immediately shifted the dynamic in my mind from one of complete absence of agency to one of choice, empowerment and possibility. I was no longer a victim to the vagaries of my mental state but an active agent in it.

 

This was a very freeing experience and I’ve never forgotten it. The passivity I saw that day represents the polar opposite and enemy of all that we want to achieve by becoming fully conscious beings. It exists in many areas of our lives, and it’s part of this ongoing assumption we carry around that we just passively accept the internal vicissitudes of our reality for what they are.

 

To suggest that we are victims in our own life due to our own mental and emotional habits is a powerful idea. It can be a strong motivator to investigate the truth of the situation, to power our curiosity and awareness to uncover our own passivity, however it manifests. In the process, we free ourselves from the prison of our habits and wake up to our life.

 

Addressing the topic of victimhood in modern times can be a sensitive issue as many people are victims of abusive behavior from others or unfortunate circumstances. Unfortunately, this can become something people over identify with which can cause further suffering.

 

Victimhood is a debilitating complex which keeps people in a negative disempowered cycle of blame which doesn’t serve their better interests. When we blame others or the circumstances for our pain, we give our power away. It makes us feel helpless which can then lead to further anxiety and pain.

 

Seeing our passivity and victimhood can release us from not only the cage of our own oppressive states of mind, but the sense of being victims of circumstances in general. This is addressed further in the next Warrior practice point 'Never blame or seek praise, take 100% responsibility for your own mind’.

 

Once again, this practice point is affirming the importance of being fully conscious and active in our lives. We engage with everything, never ceasing to ask questions of and investigate our experience as deeply as possible. We want to be as aware as we can of where we allow our negative thinking, mental states and emotions to have their way with us, as if it’s being done to us.

 

We say no to being captive to our lower mind, we don’t let it dictate terms anymore. In the rejection of victimhood, we also find the courage to say no to harmful behaviour from others, we naturally stand up for ourselves, we don’t let ourselves be taken advantage of. We become protectors of our own and others sovereignty, our right to be free and unharmed.

 

This awareness of passive victimhood has ramifications for our whole life. Once we know what it looks like we can see where it manifests in different areas, and release its controlling influence. For instance, I see it while I’m exercising if I feel apathetic or burdened by the pain of exertion, rather than enjoying the energising effect I get when I’m positively engaged.

 

I’ve seen how I experience the same when I’m sick, even if it’s only mild flu symptoms. There’s some minor unpleasant feelings related to illness but then there’s an overlay of ‘poor me’, like a mild self-pity. Now I know its calling card, I can ignore it.

 

The other area that I experience this passivity and victimhood is in relation to background worries that are niggling me. I may have an issue or concern that needs attention that keeps returning to mind and bringing with it unpleasant feelings and worrisome thoughts. My usual habit is to continue to replay it in my mind, ruminating in the fears associated with the problem without trying to resolve it. This was a long standing habit, but with awareness, I now see it which immediately releases its grasp on me.

 

Overcoming our victimhood and challenging our passivity is another great example of how being more mindful of our experience frees us. It is such an empowering faculty of mind and can change our entire internal life that can seem so out of control. I’d encourage you to embrace awareness practice and the practice meditation as regularly as you can to cultivate this tool of mental transformation.