Come from goodness and integrity, that clean, clear, free state of being

There’s no doubt that life is challenging a lot of the time and we can reside in grubbier states of mind at times, even if it’s only a low level, mild negativity. However, it doesn’t have to be this way, these are mental habits we’ve formed over many years of unconsciously accepting the direction our mind goes in response to stimuli. Habits can be changed, in fact, they can be completely transformed. Yes, it takes time and hard work, but once you start getting some momentum going, it does get easier, and what could be more worthwhile?

 

As with all practice, this is another aspect of training our minds to go in a different direction, to remember to choose that direction. The repeated theme of our practice is the cultivation of and connection with more and more positive states of mind. The more we experience them, the less we want to abide in coarser ones.

 

Positive and ethical states of mind are typified amongst other things by sensitivity and receptivity, this includes a clearer sense of our own health and well being, care and concern for ourselves but also other people, even people we don’t know. We become more concerned about our psychological nourishment and growth, decreasing our harm footprint personally, in regards to others and the world in general. It’s an awareness of the preciousness of life and in that, a connection to its essential vitality.

 

So in that, we make a conscious effort to connect with our own goodwill and integrity, to make more of it. We try to act from this positive attitude so we move more lightly through the world and add to it rather than leave the stain of our heedlessness, our often unconscious harmfulness, which really just comes back to a lack of awareness of what we’re doing.  Goodwill is the absence of hatred, ill-will, or aversion, and is also qualified by non-attachment.

 

This is a state of mind that wishes the best for others, for people to overcome their own difficulties and suffering. It’s about giving people the benefit of the doubt. It’s also compassionate, so when people act badly towards you, you're more likely to be philosophical about it and not take it personally. You can cut them a bit of slack because they themselves may have been treated badly, they might be under a lot of stress, or be emotionally impaired at the moment.

 

Maintaining goodwill immunises us from the trouble that comes from negative ways of relating to others and our life in general. Animosity is a highly negative attitude that has considerably deleterious effects on our mind that manifest in our actions, undermining everything we are trying to achieve. Hating on people, hoping they come to harm, that they get their ‘just deserts’ puts us at odds with the world and ourselves. It creates disharmony and upsets our inner peace. 

 

Integrity and integration

Integrity is an inherently positive aspect of our being that not all of us possess naturally, or that it can be undermined through life’s difficulties and bad choices. It relates to honesty and adhering uncompromisingly to strong ethical values. The word also describes soundness and dependability, trustworthiness, of being complete or whole as opposed to divided.

 

We can also think of integrity in terms of psychological integration, how consistent our personality and behavior is versus manifesting as disparate and contradictory selves. It’s common for us to behave very differently in dissimilar settings, around different people. Family versus friends, colleagues versus strangers, communicating through electronic means, over the phone. All these scenarios can get a differing version of ourselves, sometimes dramatically so. Yet, we seem to carry on with very little knowledge of this discordance.  

 

To be in this way is to exist in a fractured state, our energies are divided, our intentions mixed, our character flawed. It’s like we’re playing different roles in a movie, different manifestations of ourselves all with opposing agendas. As our practice starts to bite and we become more aware and sensitive to our well being, this can contribute to an overall sense of dis-ease, that something is not quite right with ourselves.

 

Part of the process of change and evolution is the journey towards wholeness. Personal growth is about challenging every aspect of who we are, putting ourselves under the microscope and coming to understand the jigsaw puzzle. This can’t help but bring all those selves into the light of awareness and eventually alignment. It’s the unification of our energies, cajoling all of our manifestations in the same direction. This is all supported by being more aware of our values, of consciously directing ourselves on our chosen path.

 

As we connect with our values more consciously and experience more positivity, we naturally start acting with more integrity, because we don’t want to compromise or undermine ourselves. We start to see how precious our good character is and we become resolute in protecting it. We can also train our integrity and authenticity in daily life in these areas:

Commitment and your word

 

If you make a commitment to someone, you should make every possible effort to meet it, extenuating circumstances permitting. Honouring commitments and being punctual is about respecting others, but it is also about self respect. Nothing puts people off more and fosters memorable disappointment than not stepping up, especially if it happens more than once. This is a fundamental aspect of becoming a reliable and dependable person, it’s also about becoming a more disciplined person. 

 

 

Punctuality

 

Punctuality is a great virtue and is very much an expression of integrity. When you’re on time, it shows respect, that you care, that you don’t ‘steal’ people’s time, that you’re mindful. It also shows self discipline and organisational abilities, and it’s a reflection of one's self value. For all these reasons, when you become a punctual person, you are affirming all these traits.

 

Really there’s almost no excuse to not make your appointment time. It’s just about planning, even if that means leaving early and having to wait 5 or 10 minutes because traffic was light. Some people are habitually late and it is a frustrating habit for the people that are waiting for you, and it closes doors.

 

Honesty and transparency

 

There’s something fundamentally important about honesty because it reflects one’s commitment to truth, and without truth, relationships, society at large falls down. One of the unexpected benefits of complete honesty is a sense of personal freedom that knows no bounds. When we haven’t got anything to hide, when we are not driven to create a false reality or persona, we feel completely at ease and relaxed. There’s nothing to hide so there’s nothing to be anxious about.

 

When people know that you are honest to a fault, you are trusted and known to be dependable, people rely on you for accurate information and reliable feedback. In this way, you become indispensable to others, and a source of security in a world where there is very little truth. This is priceless.

 

 

Wholeheartedness

 

When undertaking anything, whether it be your job, a project, chores at home, being a friend, parent, lover, do it with the whole of yourself, even if what you’re doing isn’t to your liking. Decide that there’s nothing more important than being the best you can be and excelling in whatever circumstance you find yourself in. In the case of an activity or project, work out exactly what needs doing, remove all doubts and uncertainties as best you can, then get behind it 100 percent.

 

This habit changes your whole life, because you don’t allow doubts and dislikes to hold part of you back and split your energies. In this way, you get great satisfaction from every part of your life. People will see you as a go getter, an inspiring action orientated person that doesn’t leave anything at the door.

 

 

Standing up for what’s important/values

 

Integrity is important, which is why standing up for what you believe in is meaningful, it’s the outward expression of integrity and requires courage. Never shy away from speaking up when it comes to your beliefs and values, especially if it’s related to ethical and humanitarian concerns. It can be challenging to stand by your values particularly when the group sentiment may differ, but this is what it means to be a true individual and a person of principles and strength.

 

 

Be the same person in all situations

 

Playing different roles in different settings means we are in some way pandering to that crowd, we’re unconsciously meeting what we think their need is to see us a certain way. Addressing this can be confusing because we might ask, which one of us is the ‘real’ one? We may also experience fear at the prospect of people retracting their affection for us if we cease to please them.

 

A different way of addressing this is to just try to be authentic and act from goodness and our values, and not try to people please. This can be most difficult in family settings, where personality roles were firmly established in our formative years. There’s also the ethics of the private moment. 

 

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” —C. S. Lewis

 

 

Not associating with fools

 

Fools is a catchall that refers to anyone of low or generally negative character. As we begin to grow and develop and become more discerning about cultivating a healthy life and consciousness, we are going to find that it becomes less desirable to associate with people who are not on the same wavelength.

 

All some people want to do is complain about their life and criticise the world at large, and generally bring the conversation down. For whatever reason, they are unhappy in their life and want you to be as well.

 

Living from a basis of integrity means we want to associate with other people of strong moral fiber and positive character. We will want to divorce ourselves from these unhappy fools who are immune to our positivity which may also mean letting old friendships go if they are particularly toxic or negative.

 

 

Accountability

 

Having integrity means owning up to what you know is yours to account for. Whatever the issue, hiding it or blaming others is a major weakness of character and removes any possibility that you can learn from your mistakes. Accountability also engenders trust in others and even if the mistake is serious, it tells people you are reliable and are willing to make good on the oversight.

Acting from integrity is acting from our core values, from what we stand for and doing it every time. It’s also about protecting that integrity by not allowing it to be whittled away, being tempted to take shortcuts or what on the surface looks like easier routes, giving in to unfounded fears. Awareness of our different selves and how we express them is a major contributor to the integration process as we get a broader perspective on ourselves.

 

This process is strengthened as our mental habits improve and we abide increasingly and more substantially in positive and beneficial states of mind. We want to be more genuine and authentic, it becomes more distasteful to act in inconsistent and unreliable ways. These positive mental states have the characteristics of clarity, cleanliness and freedom. The more conscious we are of this sense of clear mindedness, the more we abide in it and cultivate it.