Clarify your intentions and thinking, don't wallow in doubt and uncertainty

This is one of the later practice points that I added and was highlighted by an experience I had. I was planning on seeing a friend on holiday but wasn’t sure if I should. The reasons for this were complicated due to the nature of our relationship at that time. Since my tendency is to go with the flow and see how things pan out, I didn’t really assess the situation closely. In this case, I realised after that fact that I was fudging it because I didn’t want to make a decision which really was needed in this case.

 

After the holiday and some emotional fallout, the whole situation stimulated a lot of reflection about many facts of my life. I could see that in some cases where there is a fear of emotional loss, I don’t bring my usually discerning faculty of mind to bear.

 

This is quite normal and I’ve recognised it as a sort of lag effect that can be seen especially in regard to ending relationships. When they finally come to close, their expiry date was usually long before this time, possibly even years, but these situations are some of the hardest to traverse, so we don’t want to see it.

 

The importance of this practice point is about identifying areas in our life which we are purposely not facing, not bringing clarity to. We are either in denial, procrastinating or fearful of making a decision. It is completely understandable, especially if it’s to do with something that we are strongly emotionally invested in.

 

However, the fact remains that it is a blockage to our lives moving forward, and at some point we will have to deal with it anyway, so we might as well do it sooner rather than later, we just have to screw up our courage. If we are purposefully avoiding something, it hangs around our neck, an unseen, unconscious burden.

 

I’ve had this experience so many times of procrastinating on something because I have low level fear about dealing with it, or of what it might reveal. Eventually, I have to get it done after putting it off until the last possible moment. Every single time this happens and I finally sort the issue, I feel a burst of freedom and wonder at what all the fuss was about. There was no ordeal, no trauma, nothing negative unfolded like I anticipated.

 

Think of all that wasted emotional energy avoiding something that could be addressed quickly with little or no adversity. And even if the issue is a major one and will be difficult to address, it’s still better clearing the air than letting it marinate.

 

This practice point relates to our whole life as well, not just addressing issues and adversity. What is our life direction, are we truly happy, are we living our passion, what do we want to achieve, do we want to have a family and so on. We can decide to bring every little vague and gray area of our life into the light and get vibrantly affirmative about engaging with every single bit of it.

 

As we engage with the positive process of seeking understanding and clarity in our day to day, it will help to inform the broader dimension of our lives. The point of this practice is to notice when we are caught in uncertainty and lack confidence in how to move forward with what life is presenting. We may be confused and lack clarity about how to go forward, this can be informed by all manner of fears and concerns. It’s a state that is disconnected from our sense of self, from our strength.

 

The training is to stay engaged, and if we’re avoiding something, we might need to fire ourselves up, get some energy and courage moving. The best way to bring us back into strength is to do something, be action oriented.

 

Whatever it is that we need to accomplish or clarify, we start by gathering information. We can’t make solid informed decisions without it. We seek out the bare objective facts as much as possible, not our personal perception of the situation. Whatever is happening, we assess it, make a mental list or even better, write it down. Get as much understanding as possible about who or what’s involved, what’s at stake, get everything out into the open and into the light of awareness.

 

Once we’ve got all the parameters based on a complete audit of the situation, what’s the action plan and where are we at with it all? Work out some practical steps to progress the situation and assess our own mental and emotional state in regards to it all. What are we feeling and therefore seeing, are our emotions affecting our clarity and perception, are we influenced by them? Do we fully understand what our needs versus wants are, and what about the ethics of the situation, our personal actions and so forth? Rigorous honesty will serve us well here.

 

Once we’ve got as much understanding as possible, we can now move forward with conviction and confidence. If we’ve made our best efforts to inform ourselves, we won’t be second guessing ourselves at every turn, but follow through one hundred percent.

 

That doesn’t mean we are not open to making adjustments as the situation evolves. We don’t need to fear failure either, or get stuck in prognostication or catastrophising. The only thing to fear is not moving forward, not even starting. There is no such thing as failure if something has been learnt, if you’ve understood something more about yourself or life in general.

 

Becoming adept at this process is just training and it has the potential to radically change our life. We can bring this acuity and decisiveness to every aspect of our life, however big or small, on the fly. Not only that, but we get used to the strength and confidence that comes from this way of being, we see our indecisive and doubtful states of mind more quickly. We outgrow them and quite naturally and intuitively head them off with determination and resolve, preferring the certainty of confident, clear and quick resolutions to life’s challenges.

 

We prefer clarity and certainty to muddled and circuitous states of mind. When we know what we're doing in the sense of being positively directed and action orientated, we become a force to be reckoned with, a person that moves through life with unobstructed purpose and energy.

 

Making this practice a positive ingrained habit means that we rarely, if ever, have annoying burdens hanging over us. We not only clear issues and confusion very quickly, but we have this background confidence that anything that does arise in future will be quickly dealt with.

 

There is a great sense of lightness and freedom that comes from assiduous problem solving. Even if some problems are more complicated and can’t be resolved quickly, we know that we’ve progressed the problem to the best of our ability, and can lay it to one side without anxiety, knowing that it can be taken up again when there is more that can be done. 

 

Deciding to bring more clarity into our lives requires effort, it also requires courage. There’s no doubt that it’s confronting to ask questions of ourselves. Questions can then require us to consider change, even demand it. To confront one’s life is to invite the pain of movement and growth, it can trigger all our unconscious insecurities, but it’s these same insecurities that stand in the way of actualising our deepest dreams and hopes.

Keeping motivated about forming this positive habit means we just need to keep bringing to mind the fact that procrastination, avoiding or being in confusion is unpleasant, and is more unpleasant than addressing our lives with clarity. The fear or apathy can feel significant, but we can keep reminding ourselves that it’s just a low energetic state that can be quickly banished by action, and the rewards are considerable.

 

This too is a training, not listening to the lower self, giving it no power in our life. When we become familiar with this undermining part of our psyche, we get better and better at calling it out, and the less it holds us down, the more we want to be in empowered positive mental states.